the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
