How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
