operation have a gay friend backfired
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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