So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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