I've blown a few things in my day
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
