I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We need to rekindle our bromance
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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