She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
