I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
