I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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