Can i not drive my cunt home
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well I just put wine in my tea
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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