broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
