There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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