do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
