I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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