So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
