Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
