i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
