whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize