Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize