We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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