filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize