ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
