yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
