too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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