mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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