8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
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