Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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