Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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