I saw his package. It spoke to me.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
