i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
