dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
