hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
