I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
