is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I didn't notice because vodka
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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