question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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