Kiss
Puke
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize