Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
