How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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