He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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