I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
