Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
