one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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