I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
