If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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