You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
