there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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