last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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