My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
