Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
