He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
