i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What a dumb baby whore.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize