You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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