we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
