In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
