Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
