I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
