He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
false alarm, still single
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