it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
