Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
